Miss Saigon

My last day in Asia was marked by a relaxing saunter around Saigon. In a lot of ways, Saigon reminds me of Bombay. First, like Bombay, no one in the country - at least the southern part - calls it by it's new name, Ho Chi Minh City (Mumbai for Bombay). Second, the city is relatively new in terms of history - both have only been cities since the European imperialists came knocking. Finally, both seem to lack a major Asian cultural aspect and are reminiscent of major metropolises in the U.S. and Europe.

With Woodson gone and all the sights already covered, I spent the day walking around Chinatown and revisiting the main market in Saigon. Neither were overly interesting. I even had time to get a haircut today - it was kind of awkward when the barber wanted to jam a pair of scissors up my nose to give me the full treatment, but there was no way I was having it. I closed my day with a visit to one of Saigon's countless pho shops - one that Bill Clinton dined at during one of his last official state visits in 2000.

Pho

Pho is probably the national dish of Vietnam. The Vietnamese eat it like it's going out of style. It is more or less a noodle soup, with thin, long rice noodles, meat and scallions, in either chicken or beef stock. Sometimes they like to put funkier stuff in it - such as pig's blood - but I made sure that wasn't the case. The pho at this place was the best I've had in Vietnam. One thing (although there are many) that seems odd in both Vietnam and Thailand - the temperature is extremely hot, yet people eat very spicy and very hot (temperature-wise) food.

At present, I am en route to Cairo from Saigon via Bangkok. While Vietnam was interesting, it was definitely not as exciting as the other countries in Asia I visited. Part of that is likely due to basing ourselves out of Saigon. Had we gone to Hanoi and tackled the northern part of the country, I think there would have been more history, culture and scenery to experience. A lot more Charlie, Chuck, Chip and Chazz too. Anyway, I'm looking forward to Egypt and I enjoyed Vietnam, but I'm pretty sure that I will not miss Saigon. Pun intended.

The Emperor's New Clothes

After a long day of touring emperors' tombs in Hue on Friday, we took a car through Da Nang and to the ancient city of Hoi An on Saturday. To make ourselves feel and look like emperors, Woodson and I stopped by one of the many tailors in Hoi An to have custom suits and shirts made for us. Choosing absolutely every single aspect of your suit, from the number of buttons to the size of the lapel to the color and material of the inner lining was really an interesting and intense process. Nonetheless, at the end of the day, we both had very nice tailored suits. It was amazing to see the fabric transformed into a perfect fitting jacket. Note: the hat pictured below did not come with the suits.

Looking Fashionable in Vietnam

Having spent plenty of Vietnamese Dong on suits, we decided to wander around town. Hoi An is an old trading port datin back hundreds of years, with significant influence from the Portuguese, Chinese and Japanese. Many of the buildings were constructed in the colonial style and have survived Vietnam's various wars. As such, the entire town is protected as a historical site by the United Nations. However, many of these historic buildings have become nothing more than peddlers of cheap merchandise for souvenirs. Nonetheless, Hoi An was an interesting and beautiful place to visit.

Hoi An

Our whirlwind two-day trip to Hue and Hoi An in Central Vietnam ended on Saturday evening with a flight back to Saigon. Woodson left for the U.S. on Sunday morning and I am headed to Cairo on Sunday evening. One more day to experience Saigon and Vietnam.

Hue

After waking up at 4am to catch our 6am flight, Woodson and I made it to Hue (pronounced "hway") this morning. Despite being extremely tired, we headed out for a long day of adventure. Hue is the former capital of Vietnam and has a number of temples, tombs and sites. In order to see them all, we rented a pair of mopeds for the day - which were named Ladyboy and Fat-bottomed Girl. While they were nice rides, they were nothing like The Green Monster and Hellboy, our mopeds in Chiang Mai.

Riding Hogs

Our route took us through the countryside on bumpy roads to see a few tombs of emperors. Then, we headed back into the city to see a pagoda and the old town and citadel. To finish out the day, we cruised ten miles to the east to have a beer on the beach of the South China Sea.

Tomb Outside of Hue

Cao Dai and Cu Chi

We took a side trip from Saigon to visit the countryside. The first stop was Cao Dai, which is the Holy See, or Vatican, for the Cao Dai religion. Cao Dai is a religion that was founded in the 1920s and basically incorporates the best parts of Islam, Christianity, Buddhism and Hinduism. The architecture of the building was interesting, very psychedelic, for lack of a better word. We witnessed one of their ceremonies - of which they have four per day, one every six hours.

Ceremony at Cao Dai

The next stop was Cu Chi, a small city outside of Saigon. Cu Chi was the end of the Ho Chi Minh Trail during the Vietnam War and was the entry point for the Viet Cong into South Vietnam to launch their attack on Saigon. Cu Chi is specifically notable because it was home to South Vietnamese rebels who supported the North and fought against fellow South Vietnamese. They dug a number of tunnels - which we got to explore - and used a variety of booby traps to subdue and defeat the South Vietnamese through guerrilla warfare. To get to the tunnels, we walked through the jungle - Charlie was everywhere.

Saigon

I arrived in Saigon (a.k.a. Ho Chi Minh City) in Vietnam on Tuesday evening. After withdrawing two million dong from the ATM, I was good to go - that's just over one hundred dollars. The city is very modern and very large. The doesn't seem to be a whole lot in the way of cultural things to see, but Woodson and I hit the hotspots. One of which was the War Remnants Museum. However, it should probably be renamed the "War of American Aggression Museum." The entire museum depicts the Vietnam War from their perspective and interestingly describes in great detail the American plans to invade, conquer and kill Vietnam. We felt right at home amongst this Commie propaganda. Despite that bit of "truth" that was dropped on us, the rest of Saigon has been fun and the people have been very nice - even though we are from a "belligerent and aggressive" nation. The highlight of the day was a trip to the U.S. Consulate - don't worry, I'm not being deported.

Taste of Thailand

Of the three countries I have visited so far on this trip - India, Thailand and Cambodia - Thailand has had the best food, hands down. Thai is arguably the best of Chinese cuisine combined with the best of Indian spices. I'm not sure how much I agree with the Indian spice part, though. India has some pretty pungent and offensive spices, plus they overdo the spices in everything... possibly to compensate for rancidity. Another differing factor between India and Thailand is how the food looks. As Woodson has said numerous times, Indians don't concern themselves with presentation - most dishes look like they could have come from a used diaper. Thailand is the exact opposite and the food has been fantastic.

Spicy Pork Salad and Beef Curry

There are four basic types of food in Thailand: soups, curries, noodles and stir fry. Thai soups typically are with a clear broth and a lot of noodles. There are a few creamier soups too, but given the torrid climate, I haven't sampled too many. The curries are simply delicious. The key differentiator from India here, I think, is coconut milk. I'm not a fan of coconut, but only the richness, not the flavor, is brought out in the curries. I've only had a few, but Woodson got me to try the red curry, which has been one of my favorites in Thailand.

Thai Soup

There are a number of different types of stir fry. Thais use all types of meat and combine them with an assortment of vegetables. They have been very good as well. Finally, noodles. There are oodles of noodles. Okay, that was a terrible sentence. But, nonetheless, my favorite type - which I typically order at home - is a combination of fried wide rice noodles with chicken and bok choy in a light, sweet and spicy sauce. Sometimes they add baby corn, carrots or broccoli. There are all types of noodles, thick or thin, fried or boiled, bland or spicy.

Spice-Eating Dare

Most people worry about the spiciness of Thai food. Most of my food has been fairly bland and then I have added spice. When asking for spicy, Thais know better than to give white boys too much. In the photo above, Woodson dared me to eat a spoonful of hot peppers for 200 baht. While I was more concerned with pride, I dutifully downed the peppers only to receive a painful morning and about six U.S. dollars. In all, I think one of the things I'll miss most about Thailand is the cuisine. Oh, and the Chang beer.

Man Versus Food

The challenge faced me from the moment upon landing in Thailand. That's right, The Deprived. (If you are unfamiliar, please refer to my post from a few days ago.) It seems fitting that my last meal in and memory from Thailand will be the conquest of The Deprived.

Imagine this... two buns, four grilled beef patties, four slices of American cheese melted into an undescribable taste and texture, topped with three slices of bacon and a healthy dollop of barbecue sauce. That is The Deprived. At a whopping 990 calories, or 1,430 if you count the french fries, The Deprived is no laughing matter. However, I did have a Diet Coke, so it sort of offsets everything else. Much like Hillary's quest to conquer Everest, it was my duty to defeat this red, white and blue monstrosity to show Thais just what Americans are made of. It wasn't just for kicks or personal glory, but for national pride. All the marbles were on the table.

The Deprived

The real trick was how to bite into the behemoth. As presented, the sandwich was too wide for a normal human to get his jaws around. Yet, if squeezed too much, a conglomeration of barbecue sauce and melted cheese would ooze all over your hands. It was a delicate ballet, combining wits, stamina and skill. But, yours truly prevailed.

It wasn't too difficult a task and the result was yet again American dominance. Now, the real test will be to see if my stomach can make it to Saigon in one piece. Let's see what this Air France 747 jumbo jet can do - yes, the Froggies fly an American-made sky fortress.

Kata

After a few days on Phi Phi Don, I took a boat back to Phuket and made my way to Kata, a beach town on the western coast of Thailand. Similar to Phi Phi, the water is clear, green and warm. The beaches are sandy and white, with shallow bays. The beaches in Phi Phi tended to be a younger crowd, while Kata seems to be more on the older side. Kata also has a very large Scandinavian contingent - many of the restaurants have Norwegian or Swedish flags and a lot have the word "viking" somewhere in their name.

Kata Beach at Sunset

Pronounciation Guide

To clarify for you - namely Mr. Snyder - where I am, I thought a pronunciation guide might be useful. In Thailand, the letter "h" is hard. So, Zac, despite how you might think Phuket could be pronounced, it is actually "poo-ket". To further clarify, I am on Phi Phi Don ("pee-pee-don") in Ko Phi Phi ("ko-pee-pee"). Here are a few more pictures of Ko Phi Phi...

Phi Phi Don

Also, for those interested, I have uploaded all of my pictures from Thailand and Cambodia. Click on the Southeast Asia link on the right side of the page. I warn you, however, that there are more than 300 photographs. I will pare that number down after visiting Vietnam next week to make them more manageable to view. Enjoy!

Beach on Phi Phi Don

The Deprived

Let me tell you a little story. Imagine yourself landing at the Bangkok Airport, a new place in a foreign land. You've been in a place with arguably terrible food and without beef for seven weeks. Now, at 9am, after fourteen hours of traveling, you're hungry and, well, deprived. Imagine, that after going beefless for nearly 50 days, the first restaurant you see (a Burger King) would have this on the menu...

The Deprived

Not a cheeseburger. Not a double or even a triple. But, a quadruple cheeseburger. It was almost like fate calling.

Ko Phi Phi

After flying from Cambodia to Bangkok to Phuket, staying overnight and then hopping on a ferry, I finally made it to Ko Phi Phi. Ko Phi Phi is a set of six islands, only Phi Phi Don is inhabited, in a bay in the Andaman Sea. The islands are essentially giant mossy rocks that stick out of the sea and have shallow, sandy coves. The picture below is of the main beach in Phi Phi Don - it doesn't do it justice. The sand is white, the water is a greenish color and very clear and feels like bathwater.

Phi Phi Don

Angkor Wat

Many might think Cambodia an odd place to visit. The country was severely bombed by the U.S. in the Vietnam War, Pol Pot and the Khmer Rouge took over thereafter and killed millions and the country has yet to really become democratic and modernized. While all of this is true, Cambodia has a gem (and money-maker) in Angkor Wat, a huge temple complex located near Siem Reap. While most of the country may live in poverty, Siem Reap is a modernized town completely populated with hotels, restaurants and white faces. In fact, everything here is priced in U.S. Dollars and ATMs spit out greenbacks. No joke... I've never seen anything like it. It's almost like being at home, except the ATMs give you hundred dollar bills, the heat is intense and a good draft beer is only fifty cents.

Angkor Wat

Angkor Wat, which was our destination today, is a massive temple complex that is roughly 1,000 years old. It is arguably the largest temple complex in the world. The site is a series of temples and was the capital of the region when it was built. However, the Khmer completely abandoned Angkor Wat in the 1660s and moved the capital to its present site in Phnom Penh. Though there were rumors of a mythical religious complex in the jungle - much like an Atlantis or El Dorado - this site lay abandoned for 200 years until a Frenchman haphazardly re-discovered it in the 1860s. The entire complex is spread across hundreds of acres, includes dozens upon dozens of temples and literally is in the middle of the jungle. Most temples are still standing, yet many have begun to fall apart - that's what 1,000 years of erosion and 90 years of French occupation will do. All of the structures were built without cement or mortar, just interlocking stone.

Angkor Thom

Chiang Mai, Day Three

From a few days ago, but forgot to post...

Today was our third and final day in Chiang Mai and it was an action-packed one at that. Upset that we had to return our mopeds this morning, we opted for another form of transportation: elephant. As seen below, Stampy, was an adequate replacement for Hellboy and the Green Monster.

Stampy

As I said, it was an action-packed day. The day opened with a stop at a botanical garden, followed by a cruise down a river on a bamboo raft. Then for the main event, the elephant trek. While these gentle giants move slowly, they're pretty environmentally friendly. All the hippies who complain about carbon footprint should trade in their Priuses (or, Priusi?) for pachyderms. We then continued our adventure with a hike to a few waterfalls, about an hour of whitewater rafting and finally a stop at a longneck tribe village.

Longneck Girl

Next stop: Bangkok.

Lady Luck

After a few good days in Thailand, my luck was bound to run out. Today it did. Our wily trio started out the day with a trek to a floating market about 70km outside of Bangkok. The market was interesting - a series of shops on canals that can only be traversed by long boats. It was neat to see, but the boat and taxi were severely overpriced and the market was absolutely clogged with tourists. I'm glad I saw it, but it was honestly a giant tourist trap.

The Floating Market

In the afternoon, the three of us boarded a flight from Bangkok to Siem Reap in Cambodia. Upon landing in Cambodia, I was one of the first in line for Customs - I had gotten a visa in the U.S. and everybody else had to wait in the visa line and then clear Customs. Despite being the first in the Customs line, I was the absolute last to clear Customs. Yes, even Woodson - who was the LAST person off the plane, went back onto the plane to get the wine he forgot, waited in line to purchase a visa and then waited in the Customs line - beat me. Ridiculous.

Fine Merchandise at the Floating Market

After collecting my luggage, the rickshaw from my hotel was waiting at the exit for me. Ahh, something went right! We drove into town, but the rickshaws here are relatively slow. Also, this was my first time in nearly two months riding on the right/American (and, therefore, correct) side of the road. The rickshaws here are essentially mopeds with a carriage harnessed to them. As we got into town, my driver was going straight down a road and then all of the sudden the rickshaw was destroyed. He had hit a woman on a moped who turned into our lane without looking. Nothing happened to me, but both my driver and the woman went flying. Bother were okay, but both bikes were pretty much totaled. I made sure both of them weren't hurt and then a bunch of locals gathered around to see what happened. Not wanting to get caught up in any of this, I got another rickshaw and bolted. There's NO WAY that I wanted to get involved with the Cambodian police officials... if they even report accidents here, that is. Another rickshaw driver pulled up next to the wreck and gave me a lift to my hotel at the direction of my previous driver. Yet, upon reaching my hotel, he had the nerve not only to ask for money but to try to rip me off. It was obviously a ridiculous notion, so I talked him down and paid him a couple of bucks to go away. Ahh, beautiful and exciting Cambodia!

Bangkok

Bangkok has been likened to Venice. In fact, I believe it’s called the Venice of the East. However, Udaipur has that title too. Come to think of it, I’ve been to many so-called-Venices – Amsterdam, St. Petersburg, Bamberg, Udaipur, Bangkok. I think Saigon, which I will be visiting next week, has a Venice nickname too. But, Bangkok is nothing like the real Venice. The city has a major river going through the center of it with a number of channels reaching various areas. Water taxis are a great way to get around because they’re quick, cool, cheap, and get around Bangkok’s notorious traffic jams.

One of the downsides to Bangkok is the heat. I don’t know quite what the temperature was (probably in the 90s with high humidity), but I was always sweating. To put things in perspective, between 7am and 9pm I drank more than 1.5 gallons of liquid (water, soda, V8, Gatorade and beer) and didn’t use the restroom once. It’s funny – all of the foreigners are dripping, while the Thais don’t break a sweat. I guess that’s because it’s the dead of winter here.

The Imperial Palace

Susannah – Woodson’s better half – arrived today. As Woodson pointed out, she adds a new dimension to our conversations and relationship. Given her arrival and our short stay in Bangkok, we had a full day of activities. We started the morning with a river taxi to a temple and then to the Imperial Palace. We then spent the afternoon exploring some of the city’s temples and a few other things. The city is littered with dozens and dozens of temples. The temples are all fairly similar – pagoda-looking architecture, colorful roofs, tons of dragons and a giant golden Buddha at the altar. Despite their overabundance, the temples really are gorgeous buildings.

Yours Truly at a Temple

The end of our exhausting day was marked with a trip to experience the national sport of Thailand – kickboxing. We had ringside seats to the fight, which featured about ten matches. It doesn’t seem to be overly different from American-style boxing (based on my limited knowledge of the sport) except for kicking – much as intuition would lead you to believe. The bare-footed boxers are permitted to kick their opponents’ legs, torso and head. It seems to get pretty violent. Also, the boxers we saw were pretty young – probably mid to late teens. These kids just beat the sh!t out of each other.

Kickboxing

Happy New Year... Again

Imagine yourself in a crowd of a million people dressed in red – much like a football Saturday in Madison. Yet, the difference is that at a whopping five feet, eleven inches (on a good day), you’re taller than everyone else. That was me last night. Chinese New Year in Bangkok, in the largest Chinatown in the world.

Chinese New Year

The party literally consisted of a million Chinese people dressed in red and gold. It figures those Commies would pick red. All were moving in one direction or another, yet I couldn’t understand what all the hubbub was about. When asking about fireworks – which I had to refer to as “boom-booms” (Uncle Jack would appreciate) to cross the language barrier – I sadly learned that I had missed all the action by an hour. Showing up at 9pm clearly didn’t pay off as much as it should have. However, there were still hundreds of vendors and thousands upon thousands of people in the streets. Highlight of the night: drinking beer in the street and making friends with dim sum sellers.

Green Dragon

Bangkok seems like a pretty legit place. A lot of Americans write it off as a seedy city pretty quickly. Yet, Bangkok has hundreds of years of history and a number of cultural things to see and do. While it might be known for other things, its “red light district” is fairly compact and the remainder of the city is comparable to any major city in the U.S. – sans ridiculous heat and humidity. Some might consider Bangkok to be a shock, but after experiencing India, this city, to me, is basically Manhattan with a lot more noodles and a different language.

Chiang Mai

Today, Woodson and I rented mopeds and toured Chiang Mai in style. We appropriately named our hogs the “Green Monster” and “Hellboy”. These things can fly. Mine definitely topped 105 km/h (Mom, please don’t do the conversion to mph). For most of the day though, we cruised comfortably – at a much lower speed – and, with helmets. Driving on the wrong side of the road made things fun as well. However, renting mopeds was really expensive; for 24 hours, the rate was a whopping six dollars.

Hellboy and the Green Monster

On our bikes, we traversed the entire length of a 100km (62 mile) loop, which encircled a national park and many mountains. There were a number of Buddhist temples and waterfalls in the mountains, as shown below. In all, we probably trekked more than 100 miles today on our rides.

Temples near Chiang Mai

After our excursion, we both got a Thai massage by our hotel. A Thai massage is a fully-clothed – you wear essentially scrubs – rub-down in which a small Thai woman contorts you in a number of directions and puts all of her weight into stretching your limbs. It has been likened to yoga.

Finally, and perhaps the highlight of Chiang Mai (not really), I had my first taste of beef in seven weeks. The two of us stopped off for a cheeseburger at a place called Mike’s. It was AMAZING. There’s nothing quite like the quintessential American snack.

Beef, it’s what’s for dinner